True Calling

Are we brave enough to answer?

Many of us are in a strange place at the moment. After resisting the largest psychological warfare operation in world history we finally have the opportunity to celebrate the increasing likelihood that the goons who tried to steal our nation are finally going to face the music for their misdeeds. This is in addition to the massive relief that a lot of us experienced upon learning that we are much less likely to be herded into reeducation camps for our outspoken non-conformity. Watching what is taking place in Europe at the moment where people are given prison sentences for posting memes is a stark reminder of exactly the kind of Orwellian nightmare that we just barely missed us. All western nations are facing a difficult adjustment to shifting global alliances in the months and years ahead, but at least Americans can rest a bit easier knowing that our own version of the Stasi is rapidly being dismantled at the moment.

There is one fly in the ointment, however. Like many of you I am also a beneficiary of the parasitic economy that was destroying the nation. As the inhabitant of a (supposedly) deep blue state and a member of one of the protected classes that are currently screaming bloody murder about Elon and Orange Man, I'm now facing the end of the line in a heavily-subsidized industry that is busy shaking off old political alliances and struggling to figure out how to get back to business without them.

Not a small fly by any means.

It’s difficult to admit that I was benefitting off of the graft of the American people, but as someone who actually produces goods and services with my own hands I also include myself amongst that long list of victims. The price of my complicity includes not having kids and remaining a tenant instead of a homeowner. The lifestyle that my wife and I share could be summed up as Living Econo because we recognized the long term implications of too much participation in the kleptocracy. Just as it's much easier to fall down from a street curb than it is from the window of an office building, those who played by the rules and racked up the debt in order to fit-in with a sick system are going to have a much more difficult time adjusting to the new reality than us misifits.

This sort of calculation would not be necessary if our national prosperity had not been stolen from us. If you're wondering what I'm even talking about, then let El Gato Malo catch you up on the current state of the global crime syndicate. That's not the sort of predicament which easily unwinds without exacting a lot of collateral damage, and has much in common with the Buddy Cianci era of Providence, Rhode Island. When gangsters run a system for too long and suddenly find themselves in handcuffs, it takes a couple years before the average citizen can even get a building permit because nobody knows how to get anything done without payoffs and corruption. Imagine that sort of problem on an international scale and you will start to get a sense of the challenges that lie ahead long after the court battles are finally over.

Corporations pretending to be people.

On one hand this is a majorly destabilizing event to those like myself who benefitted off the system. On the other it's also quite liberating, although in an equally disturbing sort of way. Right now I'm like an unwanted first-world pet who's being driven out to the country side to be released into the wild by an irresponsible owner with a gambling problem. Yeah I'm going to miss the daily bowls of chemical laced kibble, but now I have the opportunity to trade that convenience for a far more authentic life. For the pampered poodles and shaky chihuahuas this is going to feel like a death sentence, but for those of us who can band together it will mean at least a few years of unparalleled freedom until we reach the next stair-step in catabolic collapse. This level of personal liberty is not something many of us have experienced in our lifetimes and will require tapping underused internal resources and facing fears that many of us have suppressed for our whole lives.

I'm actually having a bit of difficulty accepting this at the moment. Everything made a lot more sense when we were fighting communism in the Great Meme War and nobody knew if tomorrow was the day the Deep State would shake off the pretenses and start kicking in the doors of dissenters. That actually happened to a lot of people by the way, but in order to stick to the "kinder gentler" brand of communism marketing they couldn't unleash it on a wider scale until the digital control grid was completely locked down. Of course a tiny group of delusional humans trying to manage a large group of increasingly frustrated humans has always been a terrible plan that fails no matter how much they hype up the latest hypnosis technology. Thank goodness it ended the way it did and not the way it usually does.

For educational purposes only.

Back when this pendulum was still swinging over our bellies it was easier to focus on survival and live as if the best we could hope for was tomorrow being only a slightly gloomier version of today. Now that pressure has suddenly evaporated and we are faced with opportunities and hazards that were completely off the table just a few months ago.

My current drug of choice for escaping this uncomfortable uncertainty is Youtube, specifically clips from movies that I haven't seen in a long time. Somehow this inevitably transitions into the typical random garbage that pops up in the scroll, hours pass by, and suddenly another window of opportunity is dead and gone. When I voluntarily slip into a digital coma it doesn't feel like scattering my energy, but rather just "relaxing" because I "deserve" a break. Only when I think about my dwindling career prospects and then look back at the unproductive hours that passed do I start to feel the gnawing anxiety of settling for a barely-fulfilling career that's rapidly winding down.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy my job and the people I work with for the most part. The issue is my paycheck depends on a corrupt and dysfunctional organization that is running under pure inertia and unable to adapt, where it’s dangerous to speak out against bad policies because of the threat of retaliation. If I already had my side projects up and running then it would be a lot less risky to try and shift the egregore before we all end up abandoned on the side of the road. Even if the fates have already chosen our path it’s still worth an attempt, if for no other reason than to gain a better understanding of group dynamics and human nature.

Assuming, of course, that there’s something actually worth understanding.

Hold on a minute, Self. What are these side projects, and why aren't they the main projects? This job was never supposed to be my final destination. It just turned out to be a really incredible deal that enabled me to survive in "paradise" while I watched so many others get run through the ringer and eventually move away. The realization that I might be betraying myself was always in the back of my mind, but it wasn't until recently that it struck me like a runaway forklift. I sold out my dreams for comfort. The fact that my golden cage was a bit more tailored towards working class misfits doesn't make me superior to anyone else. If anything I'm even more delusional since I take a lot of pride in my supposed ability to be more aware than the average bear.

The question is one that most of us are facing regardless if we realize it or not. What do we want to do with the rest of our lives now that everything that made sense a few years ago is in the process of being completely turned on it's head? In my opinion it's a question of values. It’s time for those of us who feel stuck to ask ourselves what it is that we really wanted all along and figure out if it’s possible given the nature of the chaos.

Edible alchemy

Personally I love growing things, especially bacteria. Their incredible ability to turn plain old vegetables into substances that can improve overall health and influence consciousness has always fascinated me, and now with a Live Kennedy in charge of Health and Human Services it's likely that small producers will get some relief from the regulatory pressure that industrial poison food giants used to crush the small farm movement. A few months ago pursing a career in this direction didn't make much sense from a financial perspective, but now eggs are pushing $14 a dozen and it takes 6 months to get a doctors appointment. Locally produced value-added products that improve quality of life while reducing dependence on a failing medical system don't seem like such a losing proposition any more. All that remains to be seen is if I can convert that YouTube time and energy into a more productive practice so that I'm the one in charge of the catabolic process rather than allowing myself to be be controlled by it.

I'm not sure what you have in mind for your own transition in this era, Dear Reader. I sincerely hope that you have already gone your own way long ago and would never give a second thought to looking back. If not then I'd recommend figuring out what you want to do that might finally be possible now and start taking at least one step in that direction every day. The world that we actually want is out there, but it's not going to build itself.

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